The Joy a Child Brings
by whatifellinlovewith
Summary: Lanie and Esposito meet Castle and Beckett's first child, and Lanie comes to a realization.


**My entry for the fifth castlethemeparty challenge on tumblr, _sail another ship._**

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><p>Her eyes instantly land on her best friend when she opens the door—mussed amber hair, tired green eyes, a small blue bundle cradled in her elbow. And even though Kate looks absolutely exhausted, and she's heard enough labor and delivery horror stories to know she probably is, the one thing that gets to her more than anything is the overwhelming amount of joy and love that radiates off her, that fills the quiet hospital room, bounces off the white walls, swirls in the gentle flow of air.<p>

The pure serenity of it makes her fight back the squeal that threatens to escape her lips at the sight of her beautiful little nephew. She does, however, instinctively squeeze the hand of the man behind her, pulling him into the room with her, allowing him to feel the happiness and the love, to marvel in the serenity that is a stark contrast from the horror that haunts their day to day lives. It's refreshing, amazing, almost perfect as she feels her boyfriend's hand squeeze hers in return.

She had been laying in his arms when they got the call, back pressed to his chest, his lips pressed to her neck. They had already known she had gone into labor after their phones had both chirped with the announcement late last night. Just waking up to find their inboxes empty, they had laid around and joked about how Kate was, or was not handling labor and how Castle's hand was certainly broken, or would be by the time baby Castle arrived and that threats had most certainly been thrown around. It had been a different kind of peace that had surrounded her during the earlier part of her morning.

This, though, is so much better. Her boyfriend at her side, some of their closest friends celebrating the birth of their first child, this moment has to be one of the best for their group of friends. Even though Jenny and Ryan had already welcomed Sarah Grace into the world, and this isn't the first child born to their small group, this is has to be the happiest. This time, the near death of their friends isn't looming over them, the dark cloud of smoke no where to be seen. This time, there's no clouds in the sky to mask the sun that shines brightly on this moment.

She takes a step towards her friend, Javi following close behind her until they come to a stop at Kate's bedside. It's different, she notes, seeing Kate like this. Though she's seen Kate through so many whirlwinds of emotions, through ups and downs, from thinking she lost the love of her life, grieving her mother, to preparing for her wedding day and the arrival of this baby. And yet, she's never seen Kate ike this, so happy, so in love with one little person that has the power to steal someone's heart in a split second. She can only imagine how different this is for Javier to see, an absolutely taken Kate Beckett.

From this angle, though, she comes to understand. The baby boy is beautiful, sleeping peacefully in his mother's arms. His head is covered in a pale blue bonnet, the small hat covering any hair he might have and making him look absolutely bald. His eyes are closed as he sleeps, dark brown eyelashes fluttering over the pink tint of his cheeks. His little lips are pursed and parted slightly, bright red in contrast to his baby soft, porcelain skin. The perfectly straight slope of his nose is almost an exact replica of his mother's. His hands are curled into small fists, poking out from the hem of the blanket he's swaddled in.

"He's beautiful, Kate," she breathes, her voice so soft she's not sure anyone hears it. Her hand reaches out, her fingertips running over the soft skin of his forehead. She squeezes Javi's hand again, emotion overtaking her as she looks down at her newborn nephew, love rushing over her in waves as it continues to bounce of the walls, radiate off Kate and Castle, all directed at the tiny little baby. "He's so perfect. He looks so much like you."

Kate finally looks up at her, green eyes wide and brimming with tears of joy, drops hanging off her lashes, wetting the apples of her cheeks. A gentle, sweet smile plays at her lips, making her look completely content, perfectly happy in the simplest of ways. She clutches the baby tightly against her chest, tilting his head up a little more as if holding his is the most natural thing in the world. Watching her with her son, it's almost impossible to believe that she was once uncomfortable around babies.

"Do you wanna hold him?" she asks, voice soft as she lifts him a little higher, pulling him only slightly away from her chest almost tentatively.

She can only manage a nod as she takes in the sight before her, releasing Javi's hand to reach down. Kate looks almost hesitant as she sets the tiny baby boy in her arms, setting his body in her one palm, making sure his head is cradled in the other before she releases him. She smiles at the little boy now laying in her arms, cradles him against her chest as she falls utterly in love with him, silently vows to always keep him safe and to spoil his like any good aunt would. She can't help but lift him slightly to press her lips to his forehead.

She feels Javi's arms wrap around her waist from behind, his lips press to the side of her head softly, lovingly. It's different, this side of their relationship, intimate and sweet rather than flirty and sexual, a side they're only beginning to explore, but are quickly learning to love. It's in the way he runs his fingers through her hair, the way his large palm cradles her cheek, the way he kisses her goodbye, the way he pulls her to him when she's upset. It's different, but it's amazing, and it means they're heading in the right direction, in the direction Kate and Castle went, and now look at them.

As she relaxes against him, letting him peer over her shoulder so they can both look down at the little angel in her arms, Javi's breath warm against her cheek, the baby's breath tickling her chest as it passes through his rosebud lips. His hand raises from her waist to gently run his fingers over the baby's cheek, his breathing growing shallow against her ear as emotion overtakes him. After years of getting to know him, as friends and as more, she's learned to tell what he's feeling by the simplest of things, learned to spot the hint of tears in his eyes, the fear in his voice, the sincerity when he talks. She knows him, and can tell that seeing Castle and Kate's little boy is having an effect on him that she imagines even he wasn't expecting.

"His name is Evan," says Kate, making both of them look up at her and then back down at the baby. _Evan. _"Evan Alexander Castle." It suits him, the little boy in her arms. Kate told her early on in their pregnancy that they were going to name the baby, boy or girl, something strong, suiting and meaningful. And though she isn't sure what Evan means, she knows they picked it for a reason. She also knows that Alexander is the name that made Kate begin to believe in magic, thanks to one so-called psychic's daughter and one mystery writer that still seems to have her believing in fate. She's never told Kate that she thought her and Castle meeting was fate from day one.

"He's beautiful, Kate, Castle," Javi practically echoes her previous words from behind her, breaking her thoughts and making her blink down at Evan, smiling at him. The way his voice is soft against her ear, his words soft and sweet and sincere. And, as she holds her best friend's son in her arms, her mind drifts the future she hopes they'll have, when he's telling her that their child is beautiful, his voice soft and sweet and sincere. She wants him to be the man at her bedside, holding her hand the way Castle is holding Kate's smiling at her like she hung the moon.

"Do you want to hold him?" she offers, craning her neck to glance at her boyfriend. His eyes widen slightly—whether with shock or alarm, even she's not sure—but he nods slowly, releasing her so she can turn in his arms. She does, and lifts Evan from her chest, raising her eyebrows at him and tilting her head towards his arms to get him to for a cradle with them. He soon gets the point and raises his arms, crossing them the way she had. She feels Kate's intense, protective gaze on her as she places Evan in Javi's arms, and turns to her with a nod when he's finally holding the baby, cradling Evan's small head in the palm of his large hand.

Seeing her boyfriend holding a baby has an effect on her that even she hadn't been anticipating. Seeing the way he holds Evan against his chest, hands so large in comparison to the newborn cradled in them, makes her heart burst with love and…desire? She feels it deep in her stomach, gripping at her heart as she takes in the sight before her.

Of course, she's seen him with children before. She sees with Sarah Grace all the time, when they meet up with Ryan and Jenny, go over to their place for dinner—nowadays, when Jenny asks when they're getting married, instead of fighting and breaking up, they just laugh and silently promise that it'll be one day. But Sarah Grace is older, just over two years old now. And it's different, seeing him with a toddler versus being him with a newborn, a baby so small and so vulnerable and so precious, so safe with his uncle.

She hears his promises, whispered words telling little Evan that he will never let anything happen to him, that his Uncle Javi will do everything to make sure he is always safe. And he looks safe, asleep in Javi's arms, oblivious to everything going on around him, at peace in the careful cradle of his uncle's arms. And even though all eyes are on him, Javi seems oblivious to everyone but the baby, infatuated by Evan, in love with the little boy.

She wants that, she realizes suddenly. Well, she already knew she wants it, but now she realizes that she wants it _soon, _to see him make these promises to their child, telling their own little baby that _daddy _would never let anything happen to them. She wants Kate and Rick to walk in together, little Evan perched on her hip or asleep in his father's arms. She wants Kate and Rick to coo over her little baby happily, the way she and Javi are cooing over Evan. She wants it all, and she wants it _soon_.

Her thoughts consume her until Kate's hand finds her arm, soft and gentle and distracting her from her wandering mind. She looks down to see her friend smiling up at her, familiarity and recognition shining in her happy green eyes. As much as she knows Kate better than anyone, Kate knows her better than anyone, too. So, before she can verbalize the unspoken question, she reluctantly turns away from Javi to walk around Kate's hospital bed and stand next to her.

She watches as Kate's eyes lock on Castle's and then pointedly travel to Javi, as if wordlessly telling him to go see Javi and make sure he doesn't do anything to hurt her baby. He smiles back at her knowingly and leans over to press a kiss to her head, the look in his eyes as he stares at her making it seem like he thinks she's the most extraordinary person in the world. She smiles to herself, seeing the way that Kate reluctantly lets his fingers slip from between hers as he walks away. Everyone knows how extraordinary Castle thinks Kate is. He really makes no secret of it, never really has.

At Kate's pointed gaze, she takes the seat Castle just vacated, not wanting to risk upsetting her when she's so undeniably happy. She watches as her best friend's gaze travels around the room, landing on Castle and Javi smiling and looking down at Evan, talking about who-knows-what. With those two, it could be something as juvenile as how many girlfriends Evan will have when he's older, that he'll get all the girls, probably boosting their own egos, too.

Kate clears her throat next to her, breaking her thoughts once again, making her turn to face her. The smile now spread across her face is happy and knowing, matching the sparkle in her eye perfectly. She pushes herself up into a more upright position, wincing slightly and rightfully so. She did give birth just a few hours ago, at most. But as soon as the slight cloud of discomfort fades from her eyes, she's back to happy and knowing and _glowing_.

"You look good. Happy. Motherhood looks really good on you, Kate," she says smiling at her best friend, sending a quick side glance in direction of the boys in the corner of the room. Castle is loosening the blankets around Evan's middle, making his little fists pop out a bit and his fingers unclench. She smiles, both at how _cute _her newborn nephew is and at the look of sheer awe that comes across Javi's face at the sight.

"You want one," she hears Kate next to her, suddenly, her voice low but happy, borderline sing-song. Her head zips towards her quickly, eyes landing on Kate's green ones. And, really, she can tell that there's really no denying it to Kate.

"I do," she admits, hearing herself say it aloud making it so much more real. "Yeah, I want Javier and I to have a baby," she repeats, testing the words on her tongue, a smile coming across her face as she watches him shift Evan in his arms, his one palm still cradling the boy's head as the other slips to cradle his bottom and back, bringing the child up to his eyesight and smiling a smile even she rarely sees.

"I knew it!" Kate says, excited but still quietly so the boys don't hear. "You should tell him. When I told Rick I wanted to try, Lanie, he was so supportive, remember?" she continues, making her nod. She'll never forget the way Kate had raved about her husband and how amazing he was from the moment she told him she wanted them to have a baby. It was only a few months before they were sitting at another girl's night, juice in Kate's glass instead of wine as they celebrated her pregnancy.

"Do you think he's ready, though? I mean, until a few months ago I didn't even know if Javi ever wanted to settle down, never mind have kids," she asks, turning back to Kate.

"I know you won't know until you mention it," she answers, and she knows she's right. She has to talk to Javi about it. "Javi loves you, girl," she adds, looking between her and Javi and smiling as her eyes land on her husband, then on her little boy.

"I know. I'll talk to him, after. Wish me luck?" she asks, turning back to a still smiling widely Kate, smiling back at her.

"Sure, but I don't think you'll need it," she responds, glancing pointedly at Javi, who's still smiling at Evan like she's never seen before. "Now, could you please get me my baby back? I miss him."

She smiles and does as Kate asks, letting her eyes lock on Javi's as she carefully took Evan from him, smiling at him as he smiles back at her. As soon as she hands Evan back to Kate, seeing her best friend's eyes light up as she holds her little boy, she goes and stands next to Javi again, letting her fingers intertwine with his, standing a little closer than necessary until they leave only about five minutes later.

She tells him as soon as they get home, that she wants a baby.

It's only about a year later that she's the one sitting in a hospital bed, holding her little girl close as Javi sits next to her, smiling and holding her hand. Ryan and Jenny show up with a three-year-old Sarah Grace walking by her mother's side. Kate and Castle show up with a one-year-old Evan perched on her hip, smiling and babbling.

Kate smiles at her knowingly as they're all introduced to Luciana Elena Esposito.

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><p><strong>This was my first attempt at writing Esplanie, so I'm really sorry if this is horrible.<strong>


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